An Indulgent Sharing

Just because virtual life looks so peachy keen sometimes, doesn't mean that life behind the curtain always is.

I spoke to several ladies this past weekend at the Covington homeschool conference and I was asked how I prevent tearful meltdowns over school work in my home.

Forget what I told you dear ladies.  I'm hear to confess to you all that these tearful meltdowns over lessons still do happen in my household...for instance, after a weeklong Easter/Spring break.

I was ready to start back full-throttle.  They weren't. 

One child dissolved into a few tears and vented her feelings on several blank lines with the boldly capitalized words "I DO NOT KNOW!".  This was just not acceptable, and my German-bloodline took control over my calm, dominate French self.  I decided I needed to control this difficult personality or the rest of the school year would fade into whining complaints and "I DO NOT KNOW" answers.

Did it work?

Of course not!  My oldest daughter arrived home for lunch and sided with her younger siblings. "I don't blame them.  Don't even ask me what I learned in my first hour class.  I don't remember a thing."

She sent me to the store and I retreated.  What she said or did in my absence, I have no clue.  But I came home to happier students and more willing attitudes. 

While my logical mind pushes us ahead in our academics ever so much like Kim does at Starry Sky Ranch, there are far too many times I have looked back over meltdowns and tears and thought, "That was so not worth it.  There was no need for that."

And I abandon myself again to:  Patience and viewing Parenting as a Creative Art and viewing all aspects of life as unschooling in motion

At the end of the day, I prefer to see a day free of frustration and full of love, smiles and laughter; rather than a day filled with checked off assignments, messy answers, and "I DO NOT KNOW" attitudes.

The children are finishing up their lessons right now as I type.

It wasn't a bloggy, sweet day in our homeschool today, but I learned a thing or two.  That makes it a good day.

Comments

[Rachel]

Cay,

I just wanted to say that I ordered your 'A Picture Perfect Childhood' book because it looked so interesting and I had a Barnes & Noble gift certificate. I am really looking forward to it's arrival. My unschooled 8 year old is just beginning reading, but she loves to be read to. She happily listens to novels, but I loved the idea of lots of neat picture books to read too..as we still both love picture books.

~Peace,
Rachel

[Lisa]

I am soooooo glad we aren't the only ones who have melt downs.
Thanks for the reminder that not every home is perfect every minute of the day. :)

Lisa

PS it was so nice to meet you in Covington this past Saturday. Lisa

[Michele Quigley]

Beautifully put Cay! I have found the Love/Respect principle to be key in dealing with my children (especially my boys!). If I want to win their hearts (and isn't that what we want--not in the sense of just having them "like" us but rather in having them embrace our moral values?) I have to gently love and respect them. Coercion doesn't work - trust me I have tried. It may get the desired immediate outcome but never produces the desired long term result.